Guy Fieri is My Trashy Food Porn

Guy Fieri is My Trashy Food Porn

When no one is around, when the curtains are closed, and the volume is set to low; I watch Guy Fiery on TV. I guess between the hair, Hawaiian-bowling shirts, and glasses on the back of the head thing, foodies tend to not take the personality chef so seriously. And to...

Nutella is Like a Stripper on My Tastebuds

A spoon of Nutella in your mouth is one of the most sensual and seductive feelings ever. If Nutella was a human, it would be a woman. She would have big boobs and an even bigger ass, and she would most probably be a stripper (a very good one at that). She would twerk...
Faded Memories of Strawberries Past

Faded Memories of Strawberries Past

I can’t remember what strawberries taste like. Not in a ‘I have food amnesia’ way, but in a ‘all strawberries taste of nothing these day’ way. When I think hard and long about what strawberries used to taste and smell like when I was a child, I can almost recall it....
Frozen Fries Are  Better Than Fresh!  There, I said It!

Frozen Fries Are Better Than Fresh! There, I said It!

I refused to be shammed any longer. I enjoy the taste and feel of frozen fries. I know as a foodie (for lack of better word), I should be gushing over hand-cut, skin on, double fired fires, but I just can’t do it. They are mushy on the inside and never as crunchy as...